If I Were to Filabuster

“I will speak until I can no longer speak.”

Libertarian Senator, Rand Paul, Filibustered this past Wednesday in Congress. He spoke for almost 13 hours regarding his concerns over the controversial drone program and the nomination of John Brennan as CIA director. Apparently he had trouble accepting the fact that the U.S. government has the legal authority to kill a U.S. citizen on American soil. (Huffington Post, Luke Johnson)

He was joined by Ted Cruz (Texas) and Marco Rubio (currently deemed Conservative Savior) who both supported his filibuster. Although I bet many were annoyed by this demonstration, I think it was a bold show of courage. It brought a lot of awareness to the happenings in Washington, #filablizzard was trending on Wednesday as people weighed-in on twitter.

What if I were to filibuster something I don’t like? It’s interesting the Congress is set up in such a way that he couldn’t be stopped. I couldn’t just stand up on my chair in my classroom and drone on about how I think a class isn’t fair. Somehow the teachers would stop me, or maybe my fellow students would get annoyed and then stop me. If all else failed, I wonder if the Authorities would be within their rights to ‘take me out.’

But what if school was set up in such a way to allow for students like me to stand up and demand for attention for the cause? I bet a lot of people would take advantage of it.

“That was due TODAY??? Well shoot, I’ll just Filibuster and maybe the teacher won’t make us hand in the assignment.”

“I don’t want to take a test today. Hey! Let’s filibuster today instead!”

So I guess that’s impossible in a school setting but if I were senator, I can’t imagine how I’d prepare. In the past some would read from the Bible or read from a phone book to stall. But I think it’s interesting to stay informative.


Step 1: Remember to go to the bathroom before starting.

Step 2: Grab a snack (and stuff my briefcase with crackers or something).

Step 3: Google a bunch of relevant points to my argument.

Step 4: Find allies. Bribe them with my snacks maybe.

Step 5: Tell my friends to watch me on TV. AND make sure the news comes to watch the show.

Step 6: Don’t wear heels that day, too much standing.

Step 7: Have some good jokes on hand just in case.

Step 8: Warn friends in the Chamber so they can bring crossword puzzles or something to keep themselves entertained for the long hours.


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